The wind beneath my wings

If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t get out of my bed in the morning, where will I get the zeal to do so? I know when the world is trying to squash me and hell is breaking loose, you will always be by my side. It’s hard being you, it’s hard having to do all you do and still make time for me. For everything you do, I always get the glory whilst you are the one with the strength. I look to you because I know you will do whatever it takes. Every time I fall down, you always pick me up, I am just a limited man and you went an extra mile to introduce me to someone greater than you, Jesus. Many times I wanted to quit, but you whispered and said: “let’s try one more time”. I remember in one instance I wanted to take my life away, saw no use of living but you came and rescued me. You are my hero; I am nothing without you.

I tried finding mentors whom I can rely on, I tried to introduce me to men with strength and experience whom I thought would take care of me. I searched all over, never looked up to my senior because he was never there. I was a boy by default, I couldn’t become a man because men are made. You don’t just become a man, my maker was busy trying to make a living, therefore, I had to search around to look for a maker and I found no one. My penis erected and no one explained what was going on, suddenly my mother wasn’t the most beautiful woman I ever saw anymore. Silently I wondered “what is happening?” no one explained. Navigating through manhood with a blindfold on. When I was tired of searching, I looked in the mirror and saw scars, scars of defence. Trying to protect what I have, beyond the scars I saw a hero, I saw a mentor I wish I had, I saw me.

The only person who understands me, the only person who hears my cry. Many nights I scream so loud yet no sound comes out then I hear your voice saying “hold on, it’s going to be okay”. I look to you; you are my inspiration—I want to be like you when I grow up. You help me soar, yet no one notices that it’s you who is doing all the flipping and flapping. I want you to know that without you, my life would be… no life at all.

When I got tired of looking externally for motivation and inspiration, when I got tired of looking for a role model in higher places. I looked within and found me, I came to myself for refuge and incubation. “I am going to take you far,” I said to me.